ME AND MY SHADY GLASSES

Looking at the sun through shady glasses

But I see nothing in its mass of gasses

Light so bright blinding the masses

They don't realize they no longer in darkness.

Ye souls,

Dark clouds surround it

And there's no positivity around it.

Negativity, Pessimism, Partiality,

Hearts caged in bars of downbeat adjectives.

Everybody looking for contraceptives.

But prevention is almost impossible.

The sky is the limit but the clouds are ever changing

On the other side the sun is always shining

….. but that ain't what my eyes can see through these shady glasses!

LOVING AND LOSING

I have loved as I have lost.

I have given my all, but not received the most.

I have prayed,

Never strayed,

Believed,          

Perceived,

Even conceived,

But still, I have lost.

I have smiled as we walked the mile,

Held hands with feet in the sands.

I have concentrated, debated,

              Compensated,

Almost consecrated.

Even still, I have lost.

Day and night I have cried,

I’ve felt hurt,

I’ve had to have lied.

Why was I in the dirt?

Then again I prayed

     And I stayed.

Yeah, you guessed it, I still lost.

I have looked in the mirror and wondered why.

Stared out the window and never figured out how.

Hoped.

Dreamed.

Prayed a third time.

I imagined it was because I was shy,

Or maybe it was how I mauled.

I don’t get why I lost, But I know I did lose.

My heart is in the gutter,

But I am afraid to pick it up.

I know the pieces will scatter if I try to lift it up.

I see no future for my tattered soul.

I only have myself to console.

I have loved and I have lost, but I will love again

SOME NIGHTS I DONT WIN...

‘Ssup!

It’s been a while, huh?

What can I say, I’ve been busy.

Busy making friends,

Busy falling in love,

Busy taking exams,

Busy going to work,

Christmas, New Years.

Then busy falling out of love.

Basically too busy living my life.

Its crazy,

When I’m in the middle of the second last part is when I remember I can write this stuff down.

I am full of emotion as I’m typing but I trust I’m going to be just fine.

Although I’m still not sure of which stage of grief I am in. It kinda feels like anger and totally past denial.

I just can’t wait for the acceptance part but I don't plan on rushing anything.

It will come when it comes.

Been listening to a lot of ‘Fun’ lately and I love ‘Some Nights’.

You know those songs you feel are talking about you, this one was meant for me.

‘Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck,

Some nights I call it a draw. . .

Some nights I wish that this all would end. . .

. . . Some nights I always win.’

Some nights I go to bed feeling down and under

Some nights I’m happy and I love life

Some nights I don’t know.

Whatever way I go down at night,

I still wake up at the same time every morning

To the same routine with the hope of something new.

Something exiting.

All the same, I’ve made a memory that I wish to forget.

. . . Some nights I always win.

Just not tonight.