State of Mind

'When life gives you lemons...??'

My theory...

It is times like these we begin to doubt . . .We become unsure and start to question.
Having no proof or sign of assurance,
We then decide to conclude the worst and give in to hopelessness . . .

'Oh well, guess this wasnt my time,' . .

But if we think deeper and remember the good times, the unforgiving thoughts and million wishes. . .... then we get to understand the moment that is and we look up . . .

We see all that we had missed and many more that is new. . .
We begin to live and let live. .
We give second chances and maybe even a third. . .
Then we smile and start to feel. . . . Happy feelings.




Give thanks for the days you have seen and prey for those that are yet to come.
Remember to love...
Happiness doesnt result from what we get but frm what we give.

In short,

'When life gives you lemons, Yaay! Free lemons!

Unconditional... 2

He understands who you are and loves you without prejudice.
Everybody else finds you stupid,
....But the thinks its cute.
The rest of the world says you are crazy.
...But to him,
You are awesome.

Each time you look at your phone,
its his face you see.
His eyes are the screen saver on your computer
and his name your number one speed dial.



He doesn't judge you and trusts you with his life.
He knows all your secrets as you know all of his.
He is your best friend.

Express real love in my own words because it exists.
 Patient, Kind and beautiful.
Paint a picture of what love looks like in your imagination.
... A work of art.

Love like you've never been hurt before

Let moments pass ,
Let music plays,
Let life goes on,
.... Let love live Unconditionally!

My High School Experience...

Whoever said high school never ends clearly has never been to an all girls’ boarding school run by… African people, for four years!

It is hard.

I spent my nights in a girls dorm with a hundred other homesick teens, woke up at 5 a.m and was in class by 5.30.

I ran around all day coz my teachers said it would save time. Believe me when I say I fell down hard, so many times. I even got scars to prove it.

I got my ass whooped for misbehavior uncountable times, I knelt on pavements and cut grass with my bare hands even slept on wet grass all in the name of punishment.

Hahaha!

Damn! I couldn’t wait for it to end!

We ate ‘murram’, bean and maize mixture, from Sunday to Sunday. Sometimes the kitchen was kind enough to add in some ‘mkandaa’, black tea, to go with the ‘murram’. We were not allowed to bring food from home and if you didn’t like the food… well, life was harder for you.

We did what we had to do to survive, you know. My friends and I stole from the school farm, mostly carrots and onions , and snuck in sweets and ‘chapati’ every time we had a chance. Haha! It was hilarious! Running from prefects when we’re almost caught and later sharing our spoils!

Visiting days were the climax of the whole term . Your mama sneaks in some home cooked food for you and your friends. The next day everybody’s complaining of a stomach ache coz we all ate a little too much!

Being a home science student was an added advantage. We couldn’t wait for our Food and Nutrition practicals. You get to cook and eat all u wanted, of course we had lots a tricks up our sleeves to make sure we made the most of it!

All that jazz made you want to just run away sometimes. My friend Sara and I made sure we got on the bus at any chance we got. We did not care where it was going. Be it basketball, music fests even Math contests, we were on! Lol… I miss her!

Our Principal, Mrs. Wabwile of Exellence also known to us as beryl was off the hook. I loved when she danced during Sunday service, called me out during morning assembly co she suspected I wasn’t carrying my hymn book. Most of the time she was right and I ended up cleaning drainages in front of Nyayo House. Mrs. Juma would pass by, look at me, walk away them made sure she’d tease me about it during house meeting.

There were days we hid under the ironing table in the Home science room just to avoid going for those marathon and ‘Pande’. Man, that man was some piece of work! When we were found out…. You don’t want to know what went down.

Running away from Mr. Jondi at 5 a.m on days that he was on duty were one of the most adrenaline packed moments of my life. 

That man was really tall and you did not want him remembering your name!

Four years down the line… I still remember the crazies.

I miss those days…

All things bright and beautiful... on Twitpic

All things bright and beautiful... on Twitpic: All things bright and beautiful...

GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER... Chapter 1

 I wont dare lie.
I aint perfect, infact my mistakes are way more than my good deeds. I can go on and say, ' I know who I am and it makes me what I am'.
That might be true, but doesn't work all the the time.
You know those moments when you watch the 'the Holiday' and you realise that your life feels a lot like Iris in the movie. Not cool.

I have been hung up over this one dude for a good part of my college life...
Today I woke up like, 'WHAT THE FUCK!'
I am a beautiful and intelligent young woman and I don't need some whack job telling me that! I need to live a little.... Scratch that, I need to live a lot. You know, hang out, party, mingle and get myself a memorable college scrap book full of all the crazies that I'm going to be telling my grandkids in the future.

Reviewing all the men in my life and can see major potential out there, i just need to figure out if i really want any of them. Once I'm done with that part... things will happen, when i decide they will happen, which happens to be now.

I know what I deserve and that is some good loving... :)
I am done being hung up.

AWKWARD PRIDE :)

I Like Me ;)

                   That awkward moment when you realize you aren’t a regular girl.

Your favorite color is silver but you don’t mind black, white and anything in between. You even have a blog called ‘Shades of Gray’. Weird, you’ve been told when you Google it, some porn book comes up. But you don’t care. You like gray.

Your wardrobe is not-so-bright like most girls you know. You prefer the monochrome, but sometimes you throw in that purple sweater your sister bought you because purple is her favorite color, or the red skirt your mother thinks you look good in, sometimes even that crazy green blouse just to piss somebody off. You fill your hands with lots of bangles and wild earrings just because you want to. You like the idea of a ‘signature’.

                 That awkward moment when you realize you don’t like your hair.

You don’t mind the notion of a bald look, but you grow hair mostly because it’s really cold and warmth is good. Your mother also like you in hair. You postpone trips to the hair dresser very often; you’ve been told you put the ‘pro’ in procrastination. I mean who likes pain? You want to live like a cave person.

                 That awkward moment when you realize you’re not in love.

You get texts, phone calls, e-mails, offers that you just wish would stop coming. Most times you just ignore. Well, you don’t want to hurt or offend anyone, not that you care either; you’ve been told you are a mean person, but you are just not into it. Relationships have not worked out so good and you just need a break.

                 That awesome moment when you know you are going to be just fine. And you’re proud of it.