I have loved as I have lost.
I have given my all, but not received the most.
I have prayed,
Never strayed,
Believed,
Perceived,
Even conceived,
But still, I have lost.
I have smiled as we walked the mile,
Held hands with feet in the sands.
I have concentrated, debated,
Compensated,
Almost consecrated.
Even still, I have lost.
Day and night I have cried,
I’ve felt hurt,
I’ve had to have lied.
Why was I in the dirt?
Then again I prayed
And I stayed.
Yeah, you guessed it, I still lost.
I have looked in the mirror and wondered why.
Stared out the window and never figured out how.
Hoped.
Dreamed.
Prayed a third time.
I imagined it was because I was shy,
Or maybe it was how I mauled.
I don’t get why I lost, But I know I did lose.
My heart is in the gutter,
But I am afraid to pick it up.
I know the pieces will scatter if I try to lift it up.
I see no future for my tattered soul.
I only have myself to console.
