RANDOM THOUGHTS (... If Ever)

If ever the world was to end right now and God asked you what you did with your life, what would you say....?
Obviously he knows the answer.... but He asked you anyway.

If ever you were walking down Koinange street on a Monday night, minding your own business then you get grabbed by the police on account of being a prostitute, how would you react....?
I wonder how you'd be dressed for that to happen...

If ever Lady Gaga actually wore clothes and was actually normal, what effect would that have on global warming....?
How much meat does one need to make a dress?

If ever LeBron James and Katty Perry decided to have a baby....
Does that even count as a thought?

If ever apple came up with a gadget that could do hair, does it get to have fingers?
Isn't that just a robot?

If ever The Church of England had remained under the Roman Catholic Church, would the queen double as the pope...?
Female pope. Interesting...

If ever Kenya discovered oil....
Wait, that has already happened...

If ever... Seriously, how big is Humphrey Khayange?
Would he fit in a Toyota Vitz?

If ever it was the stig's wedding...
Hold that thought...

If ever there was a parallel universe somewhere out there....
Now lets assume they is...
What am i?

If ever chicken decided to cross the railway instead of the road.... How would that joke end?
..... Railway chicken??

If ever people laid eggs.....
Really...???

Yeah....I think am done! 

MY WORLD

        I wake up every morning and no one's home, just me. . .
Sometimes i dnt want to get out of bed coz i knw nobody's there. . . . .
Every single day, its the same routine. Nothing ever changes.

        It's all too quite so i turn the music on too loud to mask the truth that is loneliness.
I can't always turn to the world coz this is something i have to deal with every single day.
Many times i realy need someone to talk to. . . .but its like one's listening. . . .
So i sit down with my pen and diary and i start to write.

        I write down anything that comes to my mind. . .
Everything i have no intention of sharing . . .
Something i jst want to keep.

        I write because besides life, its the best gift God ever gave to me . . .
I explore the fantasy that is my world and for a while, it all seems ok. . . .but reality comes back hard and i knw it aint real.

Still it doesnt die. . . .

        I hold on to my pen and diary amd i keep writting.
I jst cant stop myself.
With every song i listen to and every movie i watch, i get a new story, a new fantasy, a new dream. . . .

         Again for a while, i'm happy.
I go to bed late in the night after everybody else and my immagination continues evem with my eyes closed. . .
It creates the bakbone of what i will be dreaming about. . . .
I wait to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. . . .

This is my world, and i thought i should share it with u.

.......AND ON THE EIGHTH DAY,

.........GOD CREATED KENYANS.
Kenyans are beautiful people.
Strange, yet very unique. Suspicious, unforgiving and just Kenyan.
Kenyans are usually suspicious of every politician. He could be innocent but as long as he pays no tax, he's like all the rest. Take Mudavadi and Sonko 4 example, poor guys.

The people's justice is the best! Ever heard of Mob Justice anywhere else but here?

We hardly ever give second chances. Take an example of Hannah Montana in her movie. If she were Kenyan, the crowd would have walked out on her after right after booing and throwing beer bottles on stage! No more Hannah, unlike the case that was.

If  Whitney Houston was Kenyan.......
Well, she'd be part of History way before now!
We forget easy, remember Czars?

I pity that guy, Toyoda. Despite having called back all his cars, returning their money and apologizing to the whole world, Dude is being faced with over a hundred law suits. What the!!!
Now if it was a Kenyan affair, the ordinary driver would assume that the problem affects only his car and visit the usual Mechanic at River road....... Problem solved!

Till now, Chris Brown could not even get a club to celebrate his 21st b.day because of 'The Rihana Saga'. If it were a Kenyan 'storo', as usual, we'd make a fuss about it, start hate groups on facebook, make nasty jokes about the poor dude, then eventually forget wen something new comes up! Just like Esther Arunga and Finger of God!

Kenyans love Euphoria. Imagine Obama, Ocampo and ODM are old news now.....as fast as they came!
To win a Chat Award, release a Hit single that will sweep people off their feet 2months b4 the prize giving and u r in! Euphoria, Makmende, same thing! Give Kenyans time, we will forget him as fast as we remembered him!

....... I could go on and on.....Thus i insist LET KENYANS BE KENYANS!
......Aren't we just the BEST!!!

TRUE HUSTLER'S ANTHEM

I don,t really know what it means to 'hustle' but my understanding is completely different from what i hear.
Every morning i pass women making 'chapos' and 'mandazi' by the roadside to sell to those rushing to get to work. I bet they don't get much but that's hustling.
Children walking on the railway line going to skul. Most of them bearfeet with their books in a plastic bag. I also think that's a hustle.
Getting into a ma3, the red eyed conducter who wants 30 bob instead of 20 bob. Cant blame him because he also needs to eat.
The corrupt policeman waiting 4 him to drop 100 shilling wont spare him the 10 bob profit.

U get 2 town and there are those selling hankies, pirated cds, padlocks and umbrellas through vehicle windows. As much as they try, rarely does anyone buy. At least the guy selling sweets benefits when there are kids around.

I'd left grandma on her way to her 'shamba'. Old as she is, but she says we gotta eat. She sells some of the milk he cows give so that she can save 4 soap and the 'posho' mill...

And then i see T-pain and Busta singing their 'Hustlerz Anthem' and am thinking..'What the..?'
Growing up around guns and getting millions don't make u no hustler.
Ati 'i'm a balla jamaa , hata ka sina chapa', then u refer 2 yourself as a hustler.
Driving big cars and living large without having to lift a finger does NOT pass as hustling in my book.


A true hustler does NOT 4get where he came 4rm.

PLAIN CURIOSITY

Wat does B.o.B mean?
Baby on Board?

Do all Kisii's come from Kisii?

Why would anyone use a cow to advertise Oyo?

Doesn't Chamakh sound Somali?
Is he?

If a Chineese/Japanese/Korean/Taiwanese/Thai (i don't really know the difference) was to marry an Indian, ever wondered how the kid would look like?

If Jet Li had a twin, what would his name be?
Bus?

Just because some people get rich fast, does that make them illuminati?

Did Lil Wayne ever 'drop the soap' in prison?
Did T.I?

Whoever was the first to imagine that Vampires and Werewolves cud be real?
Are they?

Ever wondered if heaven is pimped up, as in internet, home theatre systems n b.ball or its just clouds, gardens n harps?

Does Iyaz have a closet full of ugly jackets?

How would Lady Gaga look pregnant?

What is more disgusting. A snail or a slug?

Why do non-Africans assume there is an 'African accent' yet there is 54 countries in Africa each with its own tribes with different accents?


Am i crazy for being curious?

...... Amjstsaying.