These women have wonderful voices...
Saturday, 26 July 2014
Friday, 11 July 2014
Silence is Golden, Speech is Silver... I like Silver.
Despite what many think,
being a girl in your twenties is really hard. These are your glory years when
you are supposed to discover yourself, live a little, make lifetime friends, find
your forever after, become an alcoholic and quit in time.
You have just 12 years, 18 to
30, to figure out what kind of midlife crisis you want to have. That is a lot
of pressure for one person. At 23 I feel like I have not exactly used those 6
years correctly. Fine I have done some of those things, well mostly in
fractions I mean I am barely half way through discovering myself. I could blame
it all on school but that would be a straight up lie. I am not exactly the
perfect student. I will graduate but not the Einstein type of graduate.
Some days like today I just
sit and think of my past years and I wonder what I could have done differently.
A lot of things come to mind like, I could have done something else in school,
made different friends, attended more parties, chosen different boys, and you
know that kind of crap.
Somebody said to ‘Never
regret your past decisions because at one time, it’s exactly what you wanted’.
I see that. I still have six
good years left. There is still a lot of time to finish what I started. To
curve out the path I picture in my head. I can still get those grey curtains I
have always wanted, that rose tattoo on my left arm, that portrait of
butterflies I saw on display once. It’s not too late to sign up for dance
classes, is it?
I want to learn how to drive.
I want to change my hair. I want a manipedi. I want blueberry ice cream. I want
to wear a crop top. I want to sing on stage. I want to bat my eyelashes at a
crush. I want to meet… I haven’t decided which famous person just yet although
a lot of rugby players are on that list. Did I mention that the chiefs might
not win Super Rugby this season? What a bummer.
Point is, I am not ready to
just settle down just yet. I hate that it took me a crisis to realize that.
Yes, we have been down this road before. I won’t give any buts. I do want to
follow through. I even made a list that has 40 things on it. Can you believe
that? 40! I feel like I already own cats.
Ha-ha! I’m not hating on cat
people, but I’m just not there yet. Besides I would really make a terrible cat person,
I would never clean up poop.
This was really for me. Judge
me all you want but some people drink, some cry, some people play sad music… I
do all that too but putting down my feelings does a lot for me. That’s why I
write as if I am having a conversation with somebody. It’s my therapy.
Yes, I do have friends. Just in case you are wondering.
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