OF KENYANS AND SOCIAL MEDIA.

Kenyans are the type of people who ruin everything. From the simple things to the big things.

Take social media for example. We are so desperate for attention we’d go to the weirdest of lengths just to be noticed! From stupid ideas to naked pictures. Some people don’t mind labeling themselves whores and sluts, if it will make them ‘famous’. I put that in quotes because the Oxford dictionary and I agree on the definition of fame and it is not that!

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram… these social sites are full of hungry and idle Kenyan folk who have no self-respect whatsoever. You can no longer use social media for the way it was intended, to socialize. Then again, not everyone understands the meaning of socializing. When it comes to Craig’s list, well that’s just a site for awkward people. Funny, you won’t find any Kenyans there claiming it’s for losers when they actually fit the profile.

In this day and age, there is no way you can have a ‘normal’ conversation with a dude with him asking for a picture of your boobs by the 3^rd text or tweet! I mean what the eff??? I don’t know you like that man! I just want to have a conversation! Is that too much to ask? Just because you are on a dry spell, we both should realize by this time that it is due to your repulsive and disgusting nature, doesn’t mean that I am!

The Kenyan population on social sites has the largest number of critics when it comes to other people’s grammar. In my opinion, I think these fellows are yet to recover from the shock of that A in English they got back in high school. Not that it’s relevant, I also had an A but you don’t see me going around tutoring grammar to the less privileged. Unless they ask for it of course. My point is, it is hypocritical to run around dismissing other people for their English yet Kenyans coin and trade mark the most ridiculous words. Words that even the word silly thinks are sillier!

Fap, nyap (I have never typed such and it burns me to do so)…. Some words are just too uncouth to type. Come one people, it makes no sense!

God created the world in six days and on the seventh he rested.

…… on the eighth day, I think that’s when he came up with the idea of Kenya!

Then again, I’m just saying!

WE NI NUGU, MIMI APANA!

I never watched any of The Lion King movies until yesterday. After over three hours of staring at the screen nonstop, I’m like ‘wow!’.  That’s exactly what I needed.  Some inspiration.

I have spent a lot of my time thinking, contemplating, trying to figure out what I want, what I need, what I have to do. I’m not saying Simba gave me answers, although Rafiki gave me lots a clues, I am barely reacting to the energy, passion and emotion surrounding both films. Shit happens; it’s how we clean ourselves after, that matters.

‘Asante sana, squash banana,

We ni nugu, mimi apana.’

Rafiki chants for a while. After much rewinding and forwarding trying to figure out what he’s saying, I realize, he’s not making any sense. It doesn’t have to make sense. But I get it now. It was irrelevant.

Not everything is supposed to have meaning. These are better of ignored if you have to make progress. Forwarding and rewinding will do you no good. In fact you’re going to feel like you’ve wasted time on something useless. Well, yeah, it was a teaching moment but what did you learn? That it’s unimportant?

I beat myself up all day for being lazy, not doing what I’m supposed to do.

I just noticed that statement has no relevance to what I’m trying to say here but you get my point. Ignore it, its unimportant as much as it is true.

The soundtrack of the second movie ‘He lives in me’ by Tina Turner is responsible for my good mood today. I have no idea to who she refers to but I know I want to listen to it again and again. Yes, this information is very relevant in case you’re wondering.

That song that gets you in that good is not unimportant.

Keep it. You’re going to need it

                                                                                                                                                                  …. In Upendi!!

ESCARVA; I Can't

    Sitting at heaven’s door with my back against the wall.

I can’t go in, I’m afraid… I don’t even want to try.

Would you recognize me if you saw me like that?

If you felt my hopelessness and touched my faithless face.

Would you question my answers or mistrust my beliefs?

… Even if I am filled with only good intentions.

If I left my faith behind and followed you to the depths of the earth…

If I took your words and made them my own…

If everything I lived for was in a name… Your name.

Would you understand me?

 

You turn your eyes from me and give me your coldest shoulder…

You instruct me and my demons away from your presence…

You announce my shame from the tallest towers and bleed my scars for everyone’s pleasure.

You act like you hate me.

You shower me no mercy…

Yet I am bound to you by loyalty.

I can’t.

State of Mind

'When life gives you lemons...??'

My theory...

It is times like these we begin to doubt . . .We become unsure and start to question.
Having no proof or sign of assurance,
We then decide to conclude the worst and give in to hopelessness . . .

'Oh well, guess this wasnt my time,' . .

But if we think deeper and remember the good times, the unforgiving thoughts and million wishes. . .... then we get to understand the moment that is and we look up . . .

We see all that we had missed and many more that is new. . .
We begin to live and let live. .
We give second chances and maybe even a third. . .
Then we smile and start to feel. . . . Happy feelings.




Give thanks for the days you have seen and prey for those that are yet to come.
Remember to love...
Happiness doesnt result from what we get but frm what we give.

In short,

'When life gives you lemons, Yaay! Free lemons!

Unconditional... 2

He understands who you are and loves you without prejudice.
Everybody else finds you stupid,
....But the thinks its cute.
The rest of the world says you are crazy.
...But to him,
You are awesome.

Each time you look at your phone,
its his face you see.
His eyes are the screen saver on your computer
and his name your number one speed dial.



He doesn't judge you and trusts you with his life.
He knows all your secrets as you know all of his.
He is your best friend.

Express real love in my own words because it exists.
 Patient, Kind and beautiful.
Paint a picture of what love looks like in your imagination.
... A work of art.

Love like you've never been hurt before

Let moments pass ,
Let music plays,
Let life goes on,
.... Let love live Unconditionally!

My High School Experience...

Whoever said high school never ends clearly has never been to an all girls’ boarding school run by… African people, for four years!

It is hard.

I spent my nights in a girls dorm with a hundred other homesick teens, woke up at 5 a.m and was in class by 5.30.

I ran around all day coz my teachers said it would save time. Believe me when I say I fell down hard, so many times. I even got scars to prove it.

I got my ass whooped for misbehavior uncountable times, I knelt on pavements and cut grass with my bare hands even slept on wet grass all in the name of punishment.

Hahaha!

Damn! I couldn’t wait for it to end!

We ate ‘murram’, bean and maize mixture, from Sunday to Sunday. Sometimes the kitchen was kind enough to add in some ‘mkandaa’, black tea, to go with the ‘murram’. We were not allowed to bring food from home and if you didn’t like the food… well, life was harder for you.

We did what we had to do to survive, you know. My friends and I stole from the school farm, mostly carrots and onions , and snuck in sweets and ‘chapati’ every time we had a chance. Haha! It was hilarious! Running from prefects when we’re almost caught and later sharing our spoils!

Visiting days were the climax of the whole term . Your mama sneaks in some home cooked food for you and your friends. The next day everybody’s complaining of a stomach ache coz we all ate a little too much!

Being a home science student was an added advantage. We couldn’t wait for our Food and Nutrition practicals. You get to cook and eat all u wanted, of course we had lots a tricks up our sleeves to make sure we made the most of it!

All that jazz made you want to just run away sometimes. My friend Sara and I made sure we got on the bus at any chance we got. We did not care where it was going. Be it basketball, music fests even Math contests, we were on! Lol… I miss her!

Our Principal, Mrs. Wabwile of Exellence also known to us as beryl was off the hook. I loved when she danced during Sunday service, called me out during morning assembly co she suspected I wasn’t carrying my hymn book. Most of the time she was right and I ended up cleaning drainages in front of Nyayo House. Mrs. Juma would pass by, look at me, walk away them made sure she’d tease me about it during house meeting.

There were days we hid under the ironing table in the Home science room just to avoid going for those marathon and ‘Pande’. Man, that man was some piece of work! When we were found out…. You don’t want to know what went down.

Running away from Mr. Jondi at 5 a.m on days that he was on duty were one of the most adrenaline packed moments of my life. 

That man was really tall and you did not want him remembering your name!

Four years down the line… I still remember the crazies.

I miss those days…

All things bright and beautiful... on Twitpic

All things bright and beautiful... on Twitpic: All things bright and beautiful...

GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER... Chapter 1

 I wont dare lie.
I aint perfect, infact my mistakes are way more than my good deeds. I can go on and say, ' I know who I am and it makes me what I am'.
That might be true, but doesn't work all the the time.
You know those moments when you watch the 'the Holiday' and you realise that your life feels a lot like Iris in the movie. Not cool.

I have been hung up over this one dude for a good part of my college life...
Today I woke up like, 'WHAT THE FUCK!'
I am a beautiful and intelligent young woman and I don't need some whack job telling me that! I need to live a little.... Scratch that, I need to live a lot. You know, hang out, party, mingle and get myself a memorable college scrap book full of all the crazies that I'm going to be telling my grandkids in the future.

Reviewing all the men in my life and can see major potential out there, i just need to figure out if i really want any of them. Once I'm done with that part... things will happen, when i decide they will happen, which happens to be now.

I know what I deserve and that is some good loving... :)
I am done being hung up.

AWKWARD PRIDE :)

I Like Me ;)

                   That awkward moment when you realize you aren’t a regular girl.

Your favorite color is silver but you don’t mind black, white and anything in between. You even have a blog called ‘Shades of Gray’. Weird, you’ve been told when you Google it, some porn book comes up. But you don’t care. You like gray.

Your wardrobe is not-so-bright like most girls you know. You prefer the monochrome, but sometimes you throw in that purple sweater your sister bought you because purple is her favorite color, or the red skirt your mother thinks you look good in, sometimes even that crazy green blouse just to piss somebody off. You fill your hands with lots of bangles and wild earrings just because you want to. You like the idea of a ‘signature’.

                 That awkward moment when you realize you don’t like your hair.

You don’t mind the notion of a bald look, but you grow hair mostly because it’s really cold and warmth is good. Your mother also like you in hair. You postpone trips to the hair dresser very often; you’ve been told you put the ‘pro’ in procrastination. I mean who likes pain? You want to live like a cave person.

                 That awkward moment when you realize you’re not in love.

You get texts, phone calls, e-mails, offers that you just wish would stop coming. Most times you just ignore. Well, you don’t want to hurt or offend anyone, not that you care either; you’ve been told you are a mean person, but you are just not into it. Relationships have not worked out so good and you just need a break.

                 That awesome moment when you know you are going to be just fine. And you’re proud of it.

WOULD'T IT BE NICE...?

Wouldn’t it be nice if life was simple…?

If we never had to worry about good or evil.

If we could just do stuff as long s they made us happy.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all have what we wanted…?

If it wasn’t chosen who should keep what and who should go hungry.

If everyone understood you.

We look at each other and from every angle and there is a difference.

There are those who have it and do who couldn’t care less.

Those who are curious and those who aren’t.

We all want something out of this life.

Selfish or generous.

It aint wrong to want what we want.

At least that’s how I see it.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who cares…?

Someone who does not mind who or what you are.

Someone you can always count on, who you know will forever share your burdens.

Someone who would give up everything just to see you happy.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could do the same for them...?

I look around me and I don’t know what I have or even if I want it.

I don’t know if I must keep it or if I can change it at will.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we just knew…?

Simple Misery

This morning I opened my eyes but I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to get out of bed. So I didn’t do it. I never wanted to see any daylight; my feet did not feel like touching the ground and my mind did not want any class. I bailed out on a C.A.T for the first time in my life. It’s now 1700hrs and I’ve been in bed all day. I haven’t eaten or drank anything…. But it doesn’t really matter. It’s the least of my worries.

Last night I went to bed with enthusiasm. I wanted to get up early and make my Monday morning class after a long time; I wanted a good breakfast and a lovely day. I asked a friend to wake me up when he does so I won’t have to be late. I closed my eyes with a smile on my face… but that was last night.

My alarm went off and my friend called. I opened my eyes but I didn’t move. I didn’t even pick up his call. All I wanted to do was to go back to sleep and have no one bother me ever again. Each time someone knocked, on my door I didn’t even try… I just wanted them to go away. I just wanted to stare at my laptop or the ceiling, perhaps even the door. I just wanted to be left alone.

Junior texts me to hurry for a C.A.T I didn’t know was happening today. I don’t bother to reply because I know I’m not going. I don’t even think about. The only text I care to reply is from an old friend. Soon enough I realize that I had only made things worse. The conversation does nothing for my mood. If anything, it makes me feel worse. Everything is wrong.

The only time I get up is to go to the bathroom. After all, I’m still human. When I come back, I head straight to the window, straight for a razor.

….. I want to do it.

I keep passing it over my wrist but I never gather enough courage to press deep enough. When I do, hardly any blood comes out…. But the little pain freaks me out.

…. I am scared. I don’t want to die.

But I feel I must. Life would be simpler. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about C.A.Ts, practicals, rent, replying a text… If the people I want to care actually gave a damn or if I would ever be happy.

I would be in a better place, heaven or hell. Either way, I won’t have to care no more.

…. I just want the day to be over. I’ll figure things out tomorrow.