Asleep At Last- The Wailin' Jennys

These women have wonderful voices...

The Wailin' Jennys - Long Time Traveller With Lyrics

This is my new favorite song...

Silence is Golden, Speech is Silver... I like Silver.

Despite what many think, being a girl in your twenties is really hard. These are your glory years when you are supposed to discover yourself, live a little, make lifetime friends, find your forever after, become an alcoholic and quit in time.

You have just 12 years, 18 to 30, to figure out what kind of midlife crisis you want to have. That is a lot of pressure for one person. At 23 I feel like I have not exactly used those 6 years correctly. Fine I have done some of those things, well mostly in fractions I mean I am barely half way through discovering myself. I could blame it all on school but that would be a straight up lie. I am not exactly the perfect student. I will graduate but not the Einstein type of graduate.

Some days like today I just sit and think of my past years and I wonder what I could have done differently. A lot of things come to mind like, I could have done something else in school, made different friends, attended more parties, chosen different boys, and you know that kind of crap.

Somebody said to ‘Never regret your past decisions because at one time, it’s exactly what you wanted’.

I see that. I still have six good years left. There is still a lot of time to finish what I started. To curve out the path I picture in my head. I can still get those grey curtains I have always wanted, that rose tattoo on my left arm, that portrait of butterflies I saw on display once. It’s not too late to sign up for dance classes, is it?

I want to learn how to drive. I want to change my hair. I want a manipedi. I want blueberry ice cream. I want to wear a crop top. I want to sing on stage. I want to bat my eyelashes at a crush. I want to meet… I haven’t decided which famous person just yet although a lot of rugby players are on that list. Did I mention that the chiefs might not win Super Rugby this season? What a bummer.

Point is, I am not ready to just settle down just yet. I hate that it took me a crisis to realize that. Yes, we have been down this road before. I won’t give any buts. I do want to follow through. I even made a list that has 40 things on it. Can you believe that? 40! I feel like I already own cats.

Ha-ha! I’m not hating on cat people, but I’m just not there yet. Besides I would really make a terrible cat person, I would never clean up poop.

This was really for me. Judge me all you want but some people drink, some cry, some people play sad music… I do all that too but putting down my feelings does a lot for me. That’s why I write as if I am having a conversation with somebody. It’s my therapy.

Yes, I do have friends. Just in case you are wondering.

Love poem medley by Rudy Francisco

Everybody want to hear something like this from that special somebody... Even just once.

I want love...

I want love...

I want to wake up at 3 am in the morning just to make sure I am alive because I cant wait to see your face.
I want to look into your eyes and see the sun set on a rainy day, To see 9 rainbows in the dark sky and a full moon on cloudy night.

I want love...

I want to breathe in the vibrations in your voice and fill my lungs with your smile until it suffocates me,
I want to touch your lips with my fingers and feel a surge through my body
...that would ground my feet to spot where i stand.
I want to smell your skin,
Your sweaty body on mine in the rain and we wouldn't know the difference,
Nigga, i want love!

I want love...

I want your hands to hold me tight until your fingers sing symphonies to hairs on my back...
And you nails whisper love poems to my curves.
I want your palms to cause waves on my thighs and feet...
Damnit, i need love!

I want love...

That love that makes me want to get up in the morning...
That love that plants daisies in my stomach...
That love that draws pictures in my smiles...

That love that creates a future in my mind...

That love that makes me shiver in beautiful pain...

Give me love?

I want love!

 

I want to look at you and never stop.I want to see you through God's eyes.

I want to know what he was thinking while he was making you.

Such undefinable perfection.

I could never look away.

 Amen

Pray, let go...

There's nothing that hurts more than when the person you love says they are miserable and it is because of you. It's like having menstrual cramps, giving birth and pushing kidney stones at the same time.

I know you already scrolling and judging. I mean who am I to be sitting here like I got it all together, as if I know what that is all about. Hear me out for a second. Pretend we are bffs having a conversation and you're feeling me.
You feel me yet?
No? Ok, we'll get there.




Everybody deserves to be happy. Everybody deserves to walk around with a smile on their face every second of every day. You know that happiness is contagious kind of ish?
If you are the reason why somebody is unhappy, do the world a favour. Pray, let go. Don't insist on sticking around when all you do is cause misery. You are not doing either of you any good.
I get it, you probably love the person and you don't hurt them intentionally, but fact is, they're hurting and you need to go.

Cry if you must. Play Taylor Swift all day. You know, to remind you that there is somebody out there who is more miserable than you are. Go have a drink, more than enough if you dare. Burry yourself in your work, go bungee jumping... Tweet that shit if it will make you feel better.
You are young, these things are supposed to happen. Hearts break every other day and people fall in love with the same frequency. Yours is just part of the equation.
Just let them go.
(I should really take my own advice sometimes)



If it wasn't meant to be, it will never be. You are the right rib, just the wrong chest.

Remember to Remember

Life is a Bitch, that's for sure. But when dealing with a bitch, there are ways around it. She is either your friend or your enemy. As your friend, she will love you with all the loyalty in the world and as your enemy, well, you would be attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis. basically, you're screwed.

I was on my way to work; its just attachment, I am aware, but I get up in the morning and hustle like all the grown ups do so will call it work if I want to. *smiley*
Yeah, so I am om my way to work... It is raining, there is mud all over, I am slipping and sliding, my feet look like I just went swamp fishing barefoot, my good clothes have mud marks all over. I mean me and this bitch call life have a relationship drawn from an indifference for each other. I cant walk anymore so I call one of my best friends in the entire world, David my bodabaoda guy, Don't you judge me! This guy is very loyal. 
He saves from my misery and gets me to the road, safely. I must add.
I get a matatu, I am over charged, I hit myself on one of the seats, I'm bleeding, I know nobody cares... But I get to work in one piece, late, but in one piece.
 


Give me a moment, I am getting to the point.

Basically I am saying, Nothing is ever going to work out Exactly how you plan. You will not always get what you expect. Especially if this bitch doesn't like you much. I can say this now because i feel like a super hero. If you saw me right now you wouldn't guess where I had been just an hour ago. People around me don't even care.
 

I look back and I consider it as an adventure, I have made a memory. Its not an entirely a good one but now I know to call David as soon as I'm ready to leave. See, a lesson! *smiley*
Tomorrow will not be the same experience, who knows, I might get a lift from a neighbour, but my destination will still be the same.

That Title doesn't fit, does it? 
I don't think so either.

Defending The Faith...

The best part about being able to express yourself through words, i could say 'being a writer' but I would be lying if I told I know what being a writer is all about, is the part where every article you come up with there is somebody out there who thinks is about them.
You could be writing about how your two love birds, these could be actual birds, are not speaking to each other anymore. An ex-boyfriend is probably sitted on his couch reading and thinking, 'She is totally talking about me.' Or maybe some random person feeling sorry for you like, 'She must be so sad.'
You probably overheard a conversation on the train, or felt your cousin's pain, better yet you had an epiphany after watching the discovery channel.
I am laughing out loud.
It is true that there is always a story behind every word, but it ain't always about you.

I had a disagreement with somebody the other day and he actually asked, 'So when are you going to write a blog about me?' That question made my day. I mean some people actually believe they are worth that much. There is a word for such persons, Elitists. Urban Dictionary relates it to douchebage, prick and asshole. Ha ha! I didn't say it, they did.
I am not as good as Adele.
People please, its just poetry, words, crap or whatever you choose to call it. (Yes. i am laughing out loud again).

It is satisfying when people can relate to your work and even share an opinion. That was the intended purpose anyway.
I am just defending the faith in my own words.

Take it or leave it, we will all die.